Incoming Ping! Heaven’s Reaction To Humanity’s Divine Cry
The Divine Ice Bucket Challenge Remix
Heaven was chill that day. Not lazy — just… rhythmically divine. The angels were humming. Gabriel was sipping on some perfectly brewed cloud-pressed coffee. The Prayer Request Room was manned by interns from the “Earthwatch Division.” This is where Heaven reacts to prayer.
Jazz from a forgotten prophet played softly through celestial speakers — a trumpet solo that even an angel muttered, “This jazz singer tried. Maybe we should pencil him in for Resurrection Day. Wait — when is that again?”
Jesus was out. Somewhere between the 3rd and 7th realm. He wasn’t in a rush. Eternity allows for strolling. God? He was… typing. Not that anyone saw the message — He rarely hit send.
And then —VROOOM. A tremor. Another. Then a high-pitched squeal from the corner fax machine in the Prayer Request Room — yes, they still use one. Old Testament aesthetic.
“INCOMING PING!”
The machine shook. Not like the usual — “God, help me pass my driving test” kind of shake.
No. This was a full-blown Holy Earthquake.
Beep. Beep. Grind. CRACK.
The tray exploded. A single fax spat out. Smoking. Glowing. Divine font. The angel on duty read it aloud, voice trembling: “Dear God. It’s all of us. Humanity. United. We’re finally ready. Tell us what to do…”
Silence. Then chaos.
“THIS IS IT!” one angel shouted, knocking over the harp stand. “THE BIG ONE!” another screamed, flipping through the End Times Preparation Binder.
Someone ran to the Messiah Lounge yelling, “Get Jesus!”
Too late. He already knew. Wings flapped. Clouds parted. A chariot was booked on Holy Jet — then canceled.
“Does He even need one?” “Nah. He floats.”
“He’s already halfway to Earth. Relax.” This Heaven reacts to prayer session was his.
And still, amid the frenzy, someone whispered: “Can’t you take a joke? Is this really it?”
“Better not be another group meditation request.”
“Or that time they all asked for bitcoin stability…”
But it wasn’t. It was real. Unified. One human voice. One petition. One moment of spiritual clarity. Earth had finally shouted in harmony,
“OK God. We give up. What now?”
Back in the throne room, God finally stopped typing. He looked up. Smiled. Then said only one word:
“Finally.”
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