Could Ethical Non-Monogamy Be the Answer To The Side Chick

We live in strange times. In the West, monogamy is preached as the ideal—but cheating is rampant, and sometimes celebrated. Meanwhile, in Africa, a form of Ethical Non-monogamy was perfectly normal until urbanization and the spread of Western culture shifted the rules. Today, multiple partners are often labeled scandalous—unless, of course, it’s done in secret. The result? Men and women everywhere are struggling to pretend they’re monogamous while quietly juggling “options.”

The Lie We’ve Been Sold

We’ve been told monogamy equals “true love.” Anything else is failure. But look around. Side chicks are mainstream. Married people are sleeping with singles, singles are entangling themselves in other people’s relationships, and almost everyone is faking it.

Meanwhile, our African traditions—which once embraced polygamy as a cultural truth—have been shamed, colonized, and declared “backward.” Funny thing is, even as we mock polygamy, we secretly allow its ghost to operate behind closed doors—through cheating, ghosting, and DM games.

What’s worse? A man with two honest wives—or a man with one wife and the side chicks? This is the real question in the debate of polygamy versus cheating. ENM may offer a middle ground, where honesty is the rule, not the exception.

Polygamy vs. Cheating: Which Is More Honest?

Take Ronaldinho, the Brazilian football genius. He quietly got engaged to two women—no chaos, no court battles, no social media bloodshed. Just his own ethical non-monogamy arrangement. His women knew about each other and agreed to it. Life moved on.

Compare that to the average scenario: a man promising his wife the moon while sneaking around with half the stars. Women aren’t innocent either: “What a man can do, a woman can do better.” Now we have revenge cheating, secret affairs, and emotional manipulation.

Truth is, everyone is hurting. Few are honest about what they truly want. ENM, in contrast, offers clarity: everyone involved knows the rules, expectations, and boundaries. Honesty becomes the foundation, not an afterthought.

Understanding ENM: A Quick Guide

Not all ethical non-monogamy looks the same. Some common forms include:

• Polygamy with transparency: Multiple partners who know and consent to the arrangement.
• Open relationships: A primary couple allows sexual or romantic connections outside the partnership.
• Relationship anarchy: No hierarchy or labels—just honesty and consent.

These arrangements aren’t chaos; they’re carefully managed, often more stable than a hidden double life.

A Quiet Relationship Crisis

In Africa, we face skyrocketing single motherhood, DNA fraud, sugar daddy epidemics, and whisper-level femicide, date rape and drugging. Caught between traditional polygamy and imported ideals of monogamy, society struggles to find a healthy path.

Traditional marriage was communal—elders guided unions, families were involved. Now? It’s Instagram captions, secret tears over side chicks, and “wing men.” DNA testing has even been threatened because it might expose the deep dishonesty in supposedly loving homes.

ENM doesn’t erase challenges, but it does demand honesty, reducing the hidden chaos modern relationships often create.

What If We Stopped Pretending?

Some men aren’t one-woman men—and they know it. Some women have the libido of rabbits (yes, I said it)—and they know it. Instead of owning it, we pretend, shame, and explode later. We go for the side chick or “wing man” route.

But what if, instead of faking monogamy, we built honest, custom-fit relationships that actually worked for the people involved? You can’t force loyalty—but you can build trust if you’re transparent.

Two women sharing a man peacefully isn’t impossible. It’s taboo only because society trained us to see it as scandalous. ENM simply formalizes what generations of Africans have quietly improvised.

The Way Forward: Build What Works, Not What Looks Good

This isn’t a call for chaos or careless polygamy. It’s a challenge: stop pretending to be something you’re not.

• If you’re a one-woman man: honor it. Stick to it.
• If you’re not: stop selling fairy tales you can’t sustain.

Women, too, deserve honest outlets for their desires without shame or double standards. Remember the little gate in the African compound? The one your secret lover would slip through while your husband whistled at the main gate? We’ve been improvising honesty for generations—ENM just brings it into the light.

Final Thoughts: Honest Love > Perfect Love

Real love isn’t about perfection. It’s about peace, trust, and transparency for everyone involved.

You don’t have to copy Ronaldinho. But maybe we can learn something from his approach. ENM isn’t perfect, but it’s honest. Whether you pursue ethical non-monogamy or another form of consensual arrangement, the key is clarity from the start.

💬 What do you think?
Would you rather be trapped in a lie, or explore ethical non-monogamy openly with honesty for all involved? Drop your thoughts below—let’s talk real.